One of the better books on marriage that I've read is Love that Lasts, by Gary and Betsy Ricucci. In the chapter on the man's role, the Ricucci's pose five questions to determine whether a husband is loving his wife redemptively:
* Do I faithfully pray for her, that Jesus Christ might be glorified in her and that she might know His love and grace?
* Do I love her enough to confront and correct her sin, especially recurrent patterns of sin, and then patiently and consistently lead her to fruitful and liberating repentance?
* Do I wash her with the water of God's Word (Ephesians 5:25-27), or do I compromise her growth in godliness because my pride, selfishness, or fear keeps me from this God-given responsibility?
* Do I lead her into active involvement and service in our local church?
* Do I constantly remind her of the gospel of grace and of God's active goodness on our behalf?
Husbands, let's strive in the strength that God supplies to be able to answer "Yes" to these questions. And wives, do your husbands the wonderful favor of praying for him (not nagging!) to grow in these areas.