Three simple questions to bless your wife

Yesterday I read through a short booklet written by David Powlison called Renewing Marital Intimacy. I bet the first words would resonate immediately with a lot of couples:

You started off telling each other everything. Time flew by when you were together...But now you have nothing to say to each other. The intimacy and trust you once enjoyed are gone -- replaced by bickering, long silences, and hurried conversations about your schedules.

Powlison suggests that three simple questions can be used to connect with your spouse regularly and deepen your relationship:

1. What are your present burdens?

The Bible tells us that we are born for trouble (Job 5:7). So what is the trouble? A sin? A responsibility? An issue at work? A particular conflict? What weighs you down? What was your lowlight of this day? These burdens are the “heat of life.”

2. What are your present joys?

What were your highlights from the day? Was there a moment that brought you pleasure? What are you grateful for?

3. What is your purpose?

This could include the mundane tasks, or broader life-purpose questions. What are your duties for this day? What's on your mind? What do you need to do? What are your goals for this day, week, or year?

If you're struggling to connect with your spouse, give these questions a try and let me know how it goes.