Teaching Your Kids to Fail

Barnabas Piper has an insightful little article on World Magazine's website titled, That's Not Fair?

Here's a quote:

One of my primary responsibilities as a parent is to prepare my children for all of life, not just what I want their life to hold. Of course, I never want my children to fail, but they will fail. I do not want them to experience disappointment, but it is unavoidable. They will not always be winners and will thus be forced to deal with the struggles of losing. If all I have taught them is that they are winners, what have I really prepared them for besides delusions of ease and grandeur?

Winning and losing are a part of life. And so are the accompanying rewards and struggles. Sadly, the contests are often not fair, making those struggles even more poignant. What am I to do as a parent? I cannot stick my head in the sand and my daughters’ along with it.

Winning and losing are real, so I must model being a humble and gracious winner and loser, no matter whether the circumstances are fair or not. My children need a definition of “fair” that motivates them to work hard and develop the gifts God has given them, not one that teaches them to expect praise and prizes at every turn. Most importantly, I must show them and teach them what it means to find value not in victory but in being a reflection of the Creator.

Read the whole thing here.

Swallowing Suffering

Worth some reflection: "The resurrection is not a consolation for suffering or even the removal of suffering. The resurrection swallows suffering" (Tim Keller).

When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
(1 Corinthians 15:54-55 ESV)

The King of kings is not Indifferent to this World

The Devil's Sort of Bible Study

A fellow pastor in South Jersey, Michael Wallenmeyer, wrote this Screwtape Letters-like reflection on his blog, Missional in Suburbia. I found it thought-provoking and convicting:

“You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe-and shudder.” -James 2:19

Slysnare: Mindpleasure, did the enemy have their Bible study again this past Wednesday night?

Mindpleasure: Yes, they continue to meet faithfully every Wednesday night from 7:00 till 8:30 PM. They are like clockwork.

Slysnare: Good, good. What did they discuss this week?

Mindpleasure: You won’t believe it. They were discussing some of the most dangerous teaching in the enemy’s book. They read from James 1, the stuff about true religion. You know the garbage, “religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” Makes me shudder to think of what would happen if….

Slysnare: Yes, if they only knew the hideous power of those words. I trust that you made sure all they did was talk, right?

Mindpleasure: As you know, it is not in my nature to be honest, but I must tell you that I did not have to do much. Jimmy and Sarah, who have been in the enemy’s camp for years, were only concerned with the style of teaching and so they were mentally distracted the whole time. Craig was mad because someone had offended him earlier in the week so he’s been existing in a self-imposed prison. The beautiful power of unforgiveness! Chris and Stacy had brought their highlighters and were marking up their Bibles like crazy but I know that they are so busy with life that there is little chance that these words from James will ever seriously impact them. Child’s play.

Slysnare: Mindpleasure, I see a promotion in your future. Tell me about the neighborhood in which they have their Bible studies.

Mindpleasure: That is the best part! Their Bible studies have had almost no impact on their neighbors or their neighborhoods. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some close calls. There are rare occasions in the Bible study where I can see the enemy begin to open their spiritual eyes and they start using phrases like “living it out” and “let’s do something.” But very subtly I remind them how busy they are or get them to argue about the exact meaning of a Greek word. Sometimes it is just too easy.

Slysnare: Good, good. I have noticed that for some in the enemy’s camp Bible study is like a drug. They are always chasing the next buzz, the next high. They pursue a little bit more knowledge believing that this is the end game. Long ago we came to realize that dead religion is just as effective as crack, maybe even more powerful when it comes to immobilizing the enemy. Keep up the great work and let’s meet again after their next Bible study.

Eyes Wide Open

This morning on his blog, Tim Challies recommended the book Eyes Wide Open: Enjoying God in Everything, by Steve DeWitt. In his review, Challies writes:

The place to begin when considering the topic is with a question like this one: Why do I enjoy _________ so much? You can fill in that blank with a kind of food or a form of art or even with a beautiful landscape. Why do you enjoy that thing so much? What draws you to it? What does it do in you and for you?

DeWitt wants to help you appreciate those things even more than you do now, and in order to do that, you need to understand beauty and joy and wonder from a biblical perspective. You need to know why God made this world as wondrously beautiful as he did. The author’s reflections on this topic, more than anything else in the book, have resounded in my mind and heart:

Beauty was created by God for a purpose: to give us the experience of wonder. And wonder, in turn, is intended to lead us to the ultimate human expression and privilege: worship. Beauty is both a gift and a map. It is a gift to be enjoyed and a map to be followed back to the source of the beauty with praise and thanksgiving.

This is a subject that I've give some thought to over the past few years, at times on this blog. And I've been told on occasion that this whole idea of teaching people to enjoy the world all around them is unnecessary and dangerous, because it will promote worldliness, and people already do a fine job of loving the stuff of this world too much. The thought is that books like this one just promote and give justification for the idolatries of people's hearts.

While I think there is a needed caution there, I think the logic is misguided. If people are not taught to enjoy beauty in a godly way, they will mimic the world's way, and that is suicide. So I am glad that there are books like this one, and I think they are of value to those who desire to bring glory to God in all of life, which is what we're commanded to in Scripture (1 Corinthians 10:31).

If anyone chooses to read it, let me know what you think. If you want to buy it in Kindle format, it’s just $6.99. If you want to buy it in printed format, the only way to do so is to buy it here.

Stepford God

“If you don’t trust the Bible enough to let it challenge and correct your thinking, how could you ever have a personal relationship with God? In any truly personal relationship, the other person has to be able to contradict you.

“For example, if a wife is not allowed to contradict her husband, they won’t have an intimate relationship. Remember the (two!) movies The Stepford Wives? The husbands of Stepford, Connecticut, decide to have their wives turned into robots who never cross the wills of their husbands. A Stepford wife was wonderfully compliant and beautiful, but no one would describe such a marriage as intimate or personal.

“Now, what happens if you eliminate anything from the Bible that offends your sensibility and crosses your will? If you pick and choose what you want to believe and reject the rest, how will you ever have a God who can contradict you? You won’t! You’ll have a Stepford God! A God, essentially, of your own making, and not a God with whom you can have a relationship and genuine interaction.

“Only if your God can say things that outrage you and make you struggle (as in a real friendship or marriage!) will you know that you have gotten hold of a real God and not a figment of your imagination.

“So an authoritative Bible is not the enemy of a personal relationship with God. It is the precondition for it.”

- Tim Keller, The Reason for God, pages 113-114

The Bane of the Medium-Sized Church

This post from Mike McKinley resonated with me, as it seems to describe the situation in a church that is approximately the one I have the privilege of serving in:

Our church is not big (speaking in terms of attendance and membership). I’d say that it’s small for a medium-sized church. But it’s growing, and attendance is certainly up from the 10 people who were here when I became the pastor. And what I’ve experienced is that as the church grows, more and more people find that it’s difficult to build relationships and get to know people in the congregation.

Now, in a weird way, I think this might be the particular bane of the medium-sized church. In a small church, it’s usually pretty easy to get to know most of the people. In a large church, people come in the door already knowing that they’re not going to get to know everyone. But in the medium-sized church, you’ve got some of the expectations of a small church alongside some of the challenges of size.

But as I’ve been thinking about this problem in our church, here’s what I’ve noticed: people who show up a lot usually aren’t lonely and disconnected. So for example: our church has a Sunday morning gathering, a Sunday evening gathering, small groups through the week, a fellowship meal once a month, a one-to-one Bible reading program, monthly men’s and women’s meetings, and a bunch of different community outreach and mercy ministries that are run by church members. Those are a lot of opportunities to connect with other people in the church. And in my observation, people who avail themselves of those opportunities almost always feel connected to others in the congregation. People who don’t show up for things, however, usually don’t feel as connected.

So it may sound a little old school (as in Hebrews 10:24-25), but there’s something to be said for the guy who wins the perfect attendance award. If you’re feeling like your church doesn’t have enough community, make sure that you’re plugging in to the opportunities that are offered. And don’t wait for someone to approach you, give them a call and invite them over for lunch after the Sunday gathering.

Conformed to Christ

How will I be changed into the image of Jesus?

By re-rooting my mind and heart each and every day in the rich soil of the unfailing love, the inscrutable wisdom, and the unthwartable power with which the Triune God governs all the details of my life, and the entire world.

California Redwoods

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose trust is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
(Jeremiah 17:7-8 ESV)

Bubba Watson wins Masters

It must really be the year of the Christian athlete...Tim Tebow, Linsanity, and now Bubba Watson wins the Masters' Golf Tournament. Check out this article on his faith.

I especially loved this tweet on the eve of the final round of the tournament, after Watson had played himself into contention for the championship:

Thanks everyone for the support! 3 reasons tomorrow will be #awesome, 1. Jesus has risen 2. See my new baby boy & my wife 3. Masters Sunday

He really seems like a man who has his values in order...praise God. Let's pray that it stays that way, given the enormous boost his golf career took yesterday.

Love Lustres at Calvary

One of my favorite prayers, from the book Valley of Vision:

My Father,

Enlarge my heart, warm my affections,

open my lips,

supply words that proclaim ‘Love lustres

at Calvary.’

There grace removes my burdens and heaps them

on thy Son,

made a transgressor, a curse, and sin for me;

There the sword of thy justice smote the man,

thy fellow;

There thy infinite attributes were magnified,

and infinite atonement was made;

There infinite punishment was due,

and infinite punishment was endured.

Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,

cast off that I might be brought in,

trodden down as an enemy

that I might be welcomed as a friend,

surrendered to hell’s worst

that I might attain heaven’s best,

stripped that I might be clothed,

wounded that I might be healed,

athirst that I might drink,

tormented that I might be comforted,

made a shame that I might inherit glory,

entered darkness that I might have eternal light.

My Saviour wept that all tears might be wiped

from my eyes,

groaned that I might have endless song,

endured all pain that I might have unfading health,

bore a thorny crown that I might have

a glory-diadem,

bowed his head that I might uplift mine,

experienced reproach that I might receive

welcome,

closed his eyes in death that I might gaze

on unclouded brightness,

expired that I might for ever live.

O Father, who spared not thine only Son that thou

mightest spare me,

All this transfer thy love designed and

accomplished;

Help me to adore thee by lips and life.

O that my every breath might be ecstatic praise,

my every step buoyant with delight, as I see my

enemies crushed,

Satan baffled, defeated, destroyed,

sin buried in the ocean of reconciling blood,

hell’s gates closed, heaven’s portal open.

Go forth, O conquering God, and show me

the cross, mighty to subdue, comfort and save.

A few years ago, the folks at Sovereign Grace turned this into a beautiful song, called How Deep. Here's a video of the song:

Body Life

The Preface to Mark Dever's book, What is a Healthy Church?:

Nose and Hand were sitting in the church pew talking. The morning service, led by Ear and Mouth, had just ended, and Hand was telling Nose that he and his family had decided to look for a different church.

“Really?” Nose responded to Hand’s news. “Why?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hand said, looking down. He was usually slower to speak than other members of the church body. “I guess because the church doesn’t have what Mrs. Hand and I are looking for.”

“Well, what are you looking for in a church?” Nose asked. The tone in which he spoke these words was sympathetic. But even as he was speaking them he knew he would dismiss Hand’s answer. If the Hands couldn’t see that Nose and the rest of the leadership were pointing the church body in the right direction, the body could do without them.

Hand had to think before answering. He and Mrs. Hand liked Pastor Mouth and his family. And Minister of Music Ear meant well. “Well, I guess we’re looking for a place where people are more like us,” Hand finally stammered. “We tried spending time with the Legs, but we didn’t connect with them. Next we joined the small group for all the Toes. But they kept talking about socks and shoes and odors. And that didn’t interest us.”

Nose looked at him this time with genuine dismay: “Aren’t you glad they’re concerned with odors?!”

“Sure, sure. But it’s not for us. Then, we attended the Sunday school for all you facial features. Do you remember? We came for several Sundays a couple of months ago?”

“It was great to have you.”

“Thank you. But everyone just wanted to talk, and listen, and smell, and taste. It felt like, well, it felt like you never wanted to get to work and get your hands dirty. Anyway, Mrs. Hand and I were thinking about checking out that new church over on East Side. We hear they do a lot of clapping and hand- raising, which is closer to what we need right now.”

“Hmmm,” Nose replied. “I see what you mean. We’d hate to see you go. But I guess you have to do what’s good for you.”

At that moment, Mrs. Hand, who had been caught up in another conversation, turned back to join her husband and Nose. Hand briefly explained what he and Nose had been talking about, after which Nose repeated his sadness at the prospect of losing the Hands. But he again said that he understood since it sounded like their needs weren’t being met.

Mrs. Hand nodded in agreement. She wanted to be polite, but truth be told, she wasn’t sad to be leaving. Her husband had made just enough critical remarks about the church over the years that her heart had begun to reflect his. No, he had never burst into an open tirade against the body. In fact, he usually apologized for “being so negative,” as he put it. But the little complaints that he let slip out here and there had had an effect. The small groups were a little cliquish. The music was a little out of date. The programs did seem a little silly. The teaching wasn’t entirely to their liking. In the end, it was hard for the two of them to put their fingers on it, but they finally decided that the church wasn’t for them.

In addition to all that, Mrs. Hand knew that their daughter Pinkie was not comfortable with the youth group. Everyone was so different from her, she felt out of joint.

Mrs. Hand then said something about how much she appreciated Nose and the leadership. But the conversation had already run on too long for Nose. Besides, her perfume made him want to sneeze. He thanked Mrs. Hand for her encouragement, repeated that he was sorry to hear of their departure, then turned and walked away. Who needed the Hands? Apparently, they didn’t need him.

Not of...But Sent Into

I thought this was a really good reflection from David Mathis about the well-known saying that Christians are to be in, but not of, the world.

Matt Chandler talks about suffering

Love the glory and grace of God that I see through this man (RSS readers, you may need to click through to the Redemption Groanings site to view the video):

Why God Makes Much of Us

John Piper preaching on why God makes much of us (if you'd prefer, watch it here).